Independent?

I supposed to do my work now

I have tons of presentation, reports etc...waiting for me!

I don't know how do i get in here.

A word inspire me, INDEPENDENT

I am not independent person, 

I rely on my boyfriend and my family so much.

Couple days ago, we have youth service in church.

One of my closed friend in church told me that she feels I am independent.

I was shocked and ask her in what way you see i have that kind of characteristic 

She said, you drive alone often, you can sit in front of church alone quietly, you do read alone and drink coffee alone etc....

ennnn......i sound like lonely more than independent lol!

In facts, I don't have many friends.

Most of my friends they have their own friends.

I have some closed friends, maybe just one or two

I'm talkative but only to those people i know

I'm bad in social especially to those older than me, I am afraid to talk to them

I'm more comfortable talked to the kids

That why people doesn't know my exist in FGC even i went for couple months ==

So can ALONE = INDEPENDENT?

I have Google the meaning of independent

1) Accept yourself

You cannot build a strong, independent you if you can't accept yourself.

Put behide mistakes and learn from mistakes.

Make an effort to be a better you and love yourself.

I've always had low self esteem last time

It seriously affect my mood, I am desperate all the time

When my friends talk to each other, I don't know how to join them

I worried I talked sometimes wrong, I scare they don't like me join their conversation

It become more worst when they talked someone's bad, I feel the person they said it was me. 

I so sensitive like sometimes they not calling me for any events, I feel i'm neglected.

All the times I feel alone and I don't even know what wrong with myself

It all changes when I met someone, I talked to him. 

I did cry in front of him.

I found myself so tiny in this world when no body going to accept me.

It was last year, month of Jun, I went church.

People start to talk to me, I started to step in to social and talk to them

I read a quotes

" Smile is not just a face expression, it bring you and other happiness"

And then I learn to smile to others.

They even give me back a smile.

I started to know that when you made a first change to yourself, 

accept who you are and be a person that you like,

you like yourself first only other will like you =))

2) Believe in yourself

If you don't believe in yourself then who else will? 

We are all different and have own unique.

No one can change your life, no one can be with you until the end except you, yourself!

When you want to do somethings, do give your own a chance.

You are the main one to complete the willing. 

Others may only give support and the main character is ourself!

Action speaks louder than words, when you believe you can do it, show your action!

In this part, I still finding and searching.

After five and a half year's teacher training, I believed myself can be a teacher.

For your information, we are under government service workers, we cannot have our choice to look for a ideal working's place, we have to wait to be post to somewhere need/ insufficient of teachers.

So, I don't know my future, I don't know where i will be send maybe outskirt place or town area

I really have no idea. 

I believe in God and no matter how I can survive and contribute as long as i have faith in myself.

3) Accept the world

In this big big world with goods and bads, no one is 100 percent good or bad.

You may meet a bad person once, twice or many times,

I'm sure you learn from them. To stay more strong and open wider your eyes again.

A person who never taste for bitter never know the taste of sweet!

Thanks God for sending me here to Jitra,Kedah for 6 years.

For your information, I grow up in a town in Selangor and I never left my parents and boyfriend.

I need to learn to stay here without them for this 6 years.

My friends in KL used to tease I'm living in a paddy field and using smoke to connect to other people.

They are right! I have been living in a jungle and my renter house is just beside paddy field

I learned to stay with other race and communicate with them

I can feel the hunger when I stayed in hostel and no food for you during flood days

Tons of experience that I can't gain if i continue stay in town!

And thanks God ,I become tough and I'm no longer a flower only stay in warm house

4) Accept that life is not fair

You will be treated differently for all sorts of unfair things: your skin color, your intelligence, your family background, your gender and how much money you have. 

If you just sit there and complaint

" God why are you so unfair!"

You definitely will not get what you want!

Don't let the unfairness of world keep you from doing what you want to do. 

Use the blaming times to do somethings else!

If you jealous people who have good family background, why don't you good one from yourself.

Your son and daughter will be jealous by other that they have wealth family background.

Knowledge is a key to success. Gain it from anybody, anywhere and anytime!

We can change for our life =)

5) Stop caring about what other people think

If you always have the nagging thouht , " But, if i done this she/ he will think me like this............" , then you will always lived behide people's thought. 

Don't worry other judgement about our life.

I believe no matter how good a person sure got other talked bad about her/him

Do the right things and follow your will 

Jesus is God's son, he is the best! There is people still hate him.

So, stay optimistic!

Better you use the times to think how to treat people who loved you better!

Dear haters,

I don't have time to worry about who doesn't like me.

I'm too busy loving the people who love me.

Thanks for those can read until the last word.

chouyunviviantan