Relationship

4.07 am.
Insomnia
Couldn't sleep...Maybe of caffeine!
Recently, one of my friend asked me a question
" How to keep warm of a relationship?"
I din't answer her since I think I'm not a good lover.
and also thank you because your question helped me reflect on myself too   

Relationship is the universal challenge that provides opportunities for learning to everyone who has been born. From birth to death no one can escape that challenge. Some of us find it pleasurable. Some give up. There is no definite answer on how to build a perfect relationship. But, for sure a good relationship will bring happiness in your life  

Many of you might not know that I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy whose name is Seang . =)

My friends always ask me the same questions.

·        " How do you keep in touch ?"

·        " Have you ever think of give up?"

·        " How are you managing this relationship? "

·        " Aren’t you  worried  that  he might also have another relationship over there?"

If I tell you I never worry about all the above, I am surely lying.

I'm here in Malaysia and he has been studying  in Sydney since 2010. The distance between Malaysia to Sydney is 6,669 km.

How good if Doremon exists  in this world so that he can bring him to me and the blink of the eye!!!

Anyway, I do have some principles that I follow. For me,  to maintain a long distance relationships you will need  the following:

·        Love

·        Trust

·        Belief

·        Patience

( * and also a smart phone, LOL)

It is difficult but that doesn't mean these are  impossible.

Let me elaborate:

1 . Communicate everyday

Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. It is not necessary  to have  long or in-depth conversations.You can tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies.

We never skip our morning and night greeting since the beginning of our relationship 8 years ago

" Good morning dear"

A simple short message from him can made me cheer up the whole morning

" Good night"

No matter how tired we are, maybe we are in a fight or argument.

*Sometimes, when I'm in a bad mood or angry
" Goodnight and bye!"

hehehehe

2 Get to know each other

Just like any relationship, you'll have to spend some time really getting to know and understanding your partner.

Take note of things they enjoy the most

Do a little research on it so you can have more common topics.

For example, if your partner is a  coffee lover

So, you should plan a date in a café with a romantic ambience.

*If you need suggestions on t great cafes in Alor Setar, you can refer to my  previous posts

I know he likes

 - Eating (common interest with me)

- Remote Controlled Cars / Tool o car/ Accessories ( Tamiya)

- Calculation (I'm week in this part)

- Playing the Piano

- To mind  his own business

- ME!!

3 Support each other 

We need support from others to build up our confidence .

If your partner is ever in a trouble, or hurt, or sad,

be there for them.

,

your words, your action would  mentally support him or her.

He is definitely my soul mate, 

I don't know how to write in words...he can sense my feeling everytime even when I'm silent.

4  Celebration

Valentine, “Monthsary”, Birthday, Special Day 

How to celebrate without him or her?

Hello, use your creativity!

If you have a good voice, you can record a love song for your partner.

Collect the photos of both of you and create  an electronic album

Choose a present and wrap it nicely and send it to her/ him

I feel lucky to have a boyfriend who always surprises me 

Each month on the  25th we will remind each other of our monthsary =)

5 Create trust

Try your best to be faithful.

You can be best friends with others but you must know your limits

Avoid putting yourself in situation where you would be tempted and let your partner know that there's nothing to worry about.

Don't be too anxious or jealous of what your partner does.

A little space is harmless and will definitely  keep things calm.

Well,  I sometimes don't trust him

Luckily he always patiently explains to me and also I'm so forgetful. LOL

6 Talk about the future together

Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, 

discussing how're you going to get to the point will help you prove to each other that the relationship always continues 

- Figure out who is moving so that you can be together in future

- Decide a reasonable target time to move

- Plan long-term finances. 

We talk about our future too.

Some of my best friends have asked

"Hey, when are you gonna marry Seang?"

I said around age of 29/30

I like to talk to him about our future

we will only make concrete plans when we are more stable in our careers.

7 Visit Often

Try to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits.

A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call.

You need to see each other in person at every opportunity.

Visit regularly if possible  =)

We used to visit each other during the holidays.

He came to Kedah to experience the different lifestyle here, unexpectedly he loves it here

I went to Australia  to check out whether he got another relationship or not (just kidding)

No doubt, I liked Sydney =)

We also meet at our hometown. We have the same hometown luckily.

Sometimes, we have no plan for anything

So we end up  watching dramas, cooking, playing the piano etc.

We love to travel. Every December, we travel to a new place. 

Going to places where  nobody knows us, and choosing  romantic restaurants to have dinner,

Walking  together by the sea or just about anything else we can do together

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoice with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, 

hopes all things, endures all things. 

Corinthian 13:4-7

By : Chouyunviviantan